A Mother's Book of Secrets

Earlier I talked about my Book a Month resolution, and I wanted to share one of the other books I have read while working on We Are Water. It's called A Mother's Book of Secrets, and it's by Linda Eyre (which if you've been paying attention is, in my opinion, THE parenting guru) and one of her daughters. This book has been out of print for a few years and I had to wait and wait for it to show up on a used book website I like in order to even be able to read it. It wasn't *quite* what I expected, but it still filled me with the nourishment I needed to keep marching and doing the absolute best I could, even in the middle of Erik's 7-week TDY to Thailand.

I love the idea of deliberate parenting, which we've discussed before. So I'll let the book itself, or rather, my highlights and dog-ears, do the talking for me.

After dog-earing every other page came up with a different plan. This was probably less
than 10 pages in.

 

And just started underlining manically.

Those highlights aren't mine, but I enjoyed the peek into the psyche of the books previous owner.

I was pretty emphatic about this page. Previous owner and I were definitely on the same page
(pardon the pun) with this chapter.

 

At the end, I decided to channel my Mima and initial and date the book once I was finished. All the books
on her bookshelf were like that and some of them had a whole column of dates and initials. I always liked
that and have decided to continue the idea. Especially since this is a book I'll refer back to often.

July Things According to My Phone

Yeah... I'm behind. But at least August isn't quite half over...

G: He died?
S: Yeah, he was hit by lightening.
G: Lightening McQueen?

After telling G he couldn't have his lunch until he picked up his toys, I was prepping Piper's lunch when I hear "Um, mom, I just talked to Jesus and he told me that I didn't have to pick up. He said he'd do it."

G: Do you hear that?
S: Yeah... It's just someone mowing.
G: Oh. They have their yard boy over?

(After what felt like a centuries-long discussion about why G doesn't get dessert because he was naughty today)
Erik, irritated: Don't ask again, you aren't getting it. You are going to just take a shower and go to bed.
G, frustrated: Daaaaad, you keep saying all those words, but none of them mean dessert!

 "I got her a sock too so when she starts crying we can just put it in her mouth and she'll be quiet." -G

Random Wednesday Morning! And this is the first time they've both been smiling in a pic!

Erik asked for a tent for his birthday.
Here's G and Erik doing a camp out together in the backyard to try it out!!



This girl started "cruising" while we were at the lake house. She also started saying "Uh oh!"
along with the usual "mama," "dada," and sometimes "bubba".

Sleeping Beauty. I started to get her out of her car seat before taking this pic.
I should have thought twice because she didn't go back to sleep after I woke her up to get her out. :/

Fourth of July cuties!

G is really into physical comedy now. Boys.

Sweet face!

P is really into the dogs.

We're deep into finger foods around here.

Love those chubby arms!

If you tell G he looks tired, he responds by making this face.

Epiphany: Babies don't like lifejackets.

Erik's former bosses lady-friend lives in Guam and sends me 7D mangoes. I don't know her very well, which makes this even sweeter. No idea how I deserve this mango godmother!

Loves coconut water!

 

 

When Erik is away we eat foods he wouldn't normally enjoy. Here's homemade Tom Kah soup. It was awesome, if I do say so myself. G had 3 servings!

Sweet babies!

Last year we planted a garden and I forgot what I planted. This year I had the foresight to draw a map!
We're getting somewhere...

Time To Go

Last Thursday we got the ball rolling on selling our house. It's not on the market yet, but it will be very soon. It's really time to go.

I'm a little sad because I kind of don't mind Bradford all that much. And I hate goodbyes.

But glad because I'm getting pretty bored here.

And glad because I despise home ownership. DESPISE.

But sad because that means we have to start doing all the little things that pile up when you own a house, but you fix for other people when it's time to sell said home.

And glad because it means I'm going to be at home with my extended family for awhile and spend some QT with them and have my kids get to know them.

But sad because Erik will not be with us because the course he's going to is unaccompanied.

And also sad because we are moving farther away from some nearby friends and family.

But glad because we are lucky enough to have a lifestyle that allows us to always be looking forward to the next step, where we can be together again.

Flying Alone

Last weekend I went by myself (ALONE! QUIETLY, WITH ONE CARRY ON BAG - FOR MYSELF!) to DC for the weekend - more on that later. To visit some girlfriends from Hawaii that just moved to town, and to see Erik's sister and our brother-in-law. (Sidenote, to call Mike "our" brother-in-law isn't exactly accurate. Mike is Erik's brother-in-law because Andrea is his sister, Andrea is MY sister-in-law, but I have no idea what Mike is to me. Because, according to the internet, he's only Erik's BIL. Strange, huh? I (obviously) digress...)

Annnyyyywayyyy....

Since I was traveling alone I had time to make some observations that I wouldn't ordinarily get to make. I kept notes. Here they are.

4:12PM - Leave sunglasses at security check point. Have no distractions to blame idiocy on.

5:09PM - Go to Coffee Beanery. Realize I have no idea what to order because I've lived in a place without a coffee shop for 2 years. Ask for something caramel-y and caffieinated. Drink happily, in silence, without explaining why I can't share.

5:13PM - Check facebook. Laugh a little too loudly at this on Erik's facebook:
Half an hour into the mom-free weekend:
Me: Grant, what are you doing with that stick?
Grant: Dad, mom let's me hit things with a stick all the time.
5:20PM - Begin boarding. Simply get up, throw out empty coffee cup and get in line. No babies to grab, no double check to make sure all our possessions are collected.

5:22PM - Walk past the gate check area. Do not drop off a stroller.

5:23PM - Walk past dude in first class chatting on his phone. Hear him telling his buddy "Yeah! We can totally go! We just put the baby in her little sling thing and she goes right to sleep. Having a baby is so much easier than I thought!" and think "I should smack him one on behalf of his wife", but instead I keep walking.

5:35 - Hear child cough. Realize it's not mine. Sigh in gratitude that I don't have a sick kid. Close eyes and consider a nap.

Sometime during the flight - Drink service begins, guy in seat catty-corner from me orders Pringles and begins eating them concave side up. "Who eats Pringles like that?!" I think. Man pops another chip. "Everyone knows you put the concave side to your tongue and press them up to the roof of your mouth to crush them. He pops another. I watch, like a person watches an animal at the zoo. He hears my thoughts, begins eating Pringles correctly. Then, starts eating them wrong again! He must be rotating them in his hand as they are raised to his mouth, after all, they're all the same direction in the can. Immediately realize I sound fucking crazy and stop watching. Also, reevaluate my decision to blog about this little timeline.

During Pringles Debacle of 2014: Excessively drunk (stinking of cheap booze) seatmate begins to snore and drool. Poor guy. I really shouldn't have asked if I could just scoot in to the window seat. He probably needed that little big of privacy.

After Pringles Debacle: Begin reading. Read 50 pages UNINTERRUPTED by anything.

6:55PM - Arrive. Cruise right past the poor shmucks picking up their strollers at the gate check. Catch escalator down to baggage claim behind a dad and his probably-about-5-year-old whose hand he is not holding. Notice wedding ring. Think "her mother would be displeased if she knew her kid was bouncing around on the escalator".

7:00PM - Meet friend. Fun ensues!

We Are Water

I finally finished my January book of the month, We Are Water. Now, my resolution isn't a total loss because I have absolutely read other books while working on this one, but I wouldn't exactly call my "Book a Month" resolution a success anyway.

So that's the good news.

The bad news is that... That book weighed me down a TON. By the end I felt like I was waist deep in mud just trying to slog through. And that makes me pretty sad because when I see Wally Lamb's name on a book, I buy it and read it as hastily as possible.

His ability to write characters is astounding. I adore the back story he provides with even seemingly minuscule characters - you can tell he's really become "one" with each character he writes about. You get to really be present in their minds and learn the way they operate. Which is incredible with characters like Dolores Price in She's Come Undone or Dominick Birdsey in I Know This Much is True. But in the case of one specific character in We Are Water (don't want to ruin it for you if this blog post doesn't completely turn you off), it just became too much. Incest, child rape, pedophilia. It was all too much to bear. Rampant, unabashed racism, infidelity, etc. The only thing I could appreciate about the book was the children's relationship with their father. Orion Oh, in many ways, is the parent I aspire to be. I need to go to school for Psychiatry.

I suppose Mr. Lamb has always written about difficult topics. It's not his first offering that included childhood trauma, but it's my first reception of his books as a parent. And of course, being a parent changes the game so completely that I'm not sure if I went back and read his other books I'd love them as much as I used to.

I feel like I'm going through a bit of a break up.

Wally and I will get back together when he puts out another book (which, if the current timeline continues, will be in about 5 years - OF COURSE it takes that long to write a book when you write as in-depth as he does, but sometimes I get impatient), we've been together since 1999, afterall. And we'll see how it goes from there, I guess. But for now, unless you like to feel like your heart weighs a thousand pounds, I can't recommend We Are Water.