Second Timer

I'll be honest with you. I'm not one of those people that loves having a tiny baby in the house. I'm not my best self when I'm tired, I get very frustrated very easily and then I start to yell at whomever happens to be the nearest poor soul. I'm probably more patient this time than I was last time, it doesn't bother me so much to get up 6x a night, but there is definitely a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture technique. I'd have called "uncle" a dozen times by this point in my mothering career if it were possible. But I can say with (perhaps shameful) pride that I haven't been reduced to tears (yet) like I definitely had been by the time G was a month old, so I'm going to go ahead and call that one a W.

The logistics though... The logistics of being a second time mom are a little more complicated than they were with one - if only I'd have known how good I had it when I just clicked out G's car seat and strolled into whatever store, restaurant or event with my adorable baby.

For example:

The other day I had a phone date with a friend in Japan. First, we both had to figure out what the hell time we were supposed to be ready because neither of us, though we are both reasonably intelligent, can manage to keep straight what the dang time difference actually is. Then, on the day of the date, I had to get dinner prepped early so I could actually talk during our 4PM phone date. I had to get both kids up from naps and fed their snacks, diapers changed and then make my own trip to the bathroom. And then, oh hell, where's my phone? I can't seem to keep track of it now that I have a baby and a traveling basket of cloth diapering supplies to carry with me. And then, forget about having an actual conversation. The call itself ended up being cancelled, to boot. And I was a little relieved. I don't have anything to discuss right now besides newborn poop. That and the fact that G has started lying but that's probably a post for another time.

Another example:
Our dogs are being boarded in 2 weeks and needed vaccinations to be admitted into the pet hotel, so Friday morning at 11 I had to take both dogs and both kids into the vets office. I aimed to be out of the house at 10:30, even though no where in this town takes more than 10 minutes. We left at 10:45, ahead of schedule (I guess...). We get there and I go to the backseat and unstrap G from his car seat but leave him in the car, I go around and get Pipes put in her sling (it took 3 tries to tie the Moby because I was rushing), then I go to the front and get the dogs (the worst leash walkers on the planet by the way) and the diaper bag, then I go back around to the other side to help G get down. There was a time in my life when I just walked into places, ya know? Man alive...

And the difference between first time new moms and second time new moms is simple:

No one feels comfortable complaining if they're a second time mom. We are no less tired, we are no less miserable, but we knew... We knew what we were getting in to. We signed up a second time for sleepless nights, being screamed at for no real reason and all the other  "fun" that comes with having a newborn. I thought it might be easier this time, but it's really not. To say nothing of the fact that on top of having a newborn I have a VERY active toddler to keep happy and out of the way of oncoming traffic. I'm definitely not my best self for him lately. Talk about Mommy Guilt.

I can say though that I'm soaking in the good moments more with P than I did with G. It was all about survival with G and now I know that there is an end to those sleepless nights and there is an end to babies wanting to snooze on your chest (and it comes with incredible haste), so I'm doing my best to ignore the dirty dishes and carpet that is screaming to be vacuumed and enjoy having that baby in my arms for the third straight hour. I just really, really wish I had the patience to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" for the thousandth time while holding said baby. The balance is more precarious than expected.

We'll get there.