The Ten Things I (Thought I) Can't Live Without

Okay, so the title is misleading. The aforementioned list is forthcoming - but that day is not today. Instead, a longer than necessary anecdote!

So a few months ago I started drafting a blog about the 10 things I can't live without. It never got published because honestly, ten things was pretty hard to come up with. Funnier still is the fact that one of those things is being lived without at this very second.

Our DVR.

Man I was in love with that bad boy. I first set one up when Erik and I had a little apartment in Black River, NY. I knew we were only going to be there for about 5 months before moving, and the cable company had a 6 month free trial (which is WAYYY too long, my money is on people being addicted by week 2) so I thought "Why not?". I expected Erik to chide me when he got home, instead he thought it was the most amazing thing ever and we've had one at every house we've lived in (4, incidentally, not counting the place in Black River).

But at the end of the year, we started looking at our bills and decided to stream-line. We switched our cell provider to Virgin Mobile (LOVE them, BTW!) which saves us more than half our old bill with Sprint, and then, still on our money saving high, we decided to switch off our cable in favor of internet cable and just keep our internet service.

I didn't want to admit it to Erik, but I was super hinky about not only giving up my DVR, but giving up my back ground noise during the day (CNN or the Food Network were my preferred "white noise"), but I've barely noticed it! The unprecidented benefits are less TV exposure for G and more "get stuff done" time for Sheena. Also, I now have no idea what's going on with Kim Kardashian, and I'm really fine with that.

Here's what though: We have a BluRay player that's connected to our internet, and Erik's dad gave us an AppleTV that someone gave him (he already had one), so the transition was virtually free. We have Amazon Prime, so that affords us tons of free shows, but better yet is Hulu - it's seriously JUST like our DVR - you set up the shows you like, it'll put them in your "Queue" when there is a new episode of whatever show, and you only have to deal with like 4 :30 second commercials. I think we pay $7 a month for that starting in March (we got a 3 month free trial in December). We also have Netflix on our AppleTV, my moms man friend is sweet enough to share his password with our family, so I'm pretty sure he, his son, my mom, my sister and us benefit from whatever his monthly fee is. (If you work for Netflix, don't turn us in...) And honestly, if you're up for commercials you can stream live TV super easily as well. We don't miss any shows. Seriously. Any. EXCEPT for the Food Network, because they just don't put their stuff online. HOWEVER, I'm pretty sure I've absorbed just about everything I'm going to absorb from Ina Garten before I'm no longer able to avoid moving to the Hamptons and surrounding myself with gay men.

So anyway, my point is... Well, my two points are... 1. Cancel your cable. 2. The things we think we can't live without today, are the $770 savings per year of tomorrow. ;) Or secret point 3. I was wrong, at least about that one item. I do NOT see myself giving up my hair straightener.

I Can't Be the Only One Who Needed This

Now that I'm a mom I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I was parented growing up, what my parents did right, what I wish they'd have done differently, etc And if you consider the types of parents they came from (very different from how they parented), I think they must have spent a long time thinking about what their parents could have done differently as well, so I don't feel so bad doing my mental critiques every once in awhile.

Don't let my tone mislead you in the least - my parents have a lot more pluses in their column than minuses, but I'll tell you one thing they did *majorly* right - I had no idea (until adulthood, that is) that my parents were as clueless as everyone elses and were just flying by the seat of their pants. If they were vexed by something, it rarely showed. They are by no means experts, but at least I thought they knew what they were doing. Haha! That's a skill I've really got to hone before G gets big enough to remember my shortcomings.

Annnnyway, about the time I began this introspection, I came across the blog of this woman who writes, like me, mostly to remember, and yet she has a HUGE following. I'm sure it helps that she posts great pics of her ridiculously gorgeous family and all the fun they have, but I think she's so popular because she makes having 5 kids and being a close-knit family seem like an absolute piece of cake. Her angle is "deliberate mothering," and I think that I've decided it's going to be mine too. (You can stalk her too, BTW, at www.71toes.com). I have struggled for so long with having given up a career to raise kids, but ultimately I figure if you screw up your kids, what do you have? As such, I really need to accept where I am now and do the best dang job I can.

So after reading her blog for a couple of months, I discovered her parents are parenting experts that have written DOZENS of books on parenting - as well has parented nine kids themselves, all of which are college educated (many from the likes of Harvard, Wellesley and BYU) and incredibly close. Much of this, I think, has to do with their Mormon background and the focus that puts on the family, but if the Eyre's can parent NINE kids and have seemingly great relationships with all of them (and their grand kids), they've got to be doing something right. So I started reading some of the books - for FREE no less, because they put them out there for schmucks like me who want to absorb as much parenting awesomeness as possible. (www.eyresfreebooks.com)

I want nothing more than to have a house full of adult kids and their little's at Christmastime, and the Eyre's seem to have exactly that. I am knee deep in a book by Linda Eyre called "I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch," (which I had bought before I discovered 71Toes or the Eyre's in general, or I'd be reading it for free, Haha!) and I'm here to tell you - she's singing my swan song! You can tell I've loved a book by the dog-eared pages, the highlights and sometimes the tear stains, and this book has all the evidence that it's exactly what I needed.

The point of this blog is that I can't be the only trying to do just a little better than the last generation in the only way I can right now - changing the world is going to have to wait. My parents were awesome, and I want to be just as awesome, but maybe a little bit different. So anyway, I'm officially that crazy lady to reads mounds of parenting books, hoping some patience, insight and maybe a little more patience will leap off the page and seep in to my heart.

And now I have to go parent, because my kid is about to eat his Cheerios out of the dog food scoop.

Hawaii Reunion : Maryland Style!

A couple of weekends ago I had the absolute pleasure of co-hosting a baby shower for my amazing friend Mandy. Erik and G tagged along for the journey to Maryland - and even though a weekend away, in a hotel room, by myself didn't sound too unappealing, I was glad they came.

We had a great time and were able to catch up with another friend from Hawaii who drove in from New Jersey with her husband and daughter (who was G's first "friend"). It was the first time we've all 3 been together since our family left the island in June, and I have to say it was like time had stopped when we parted and started back up as soon as we were in the same room again! Friends like that are definitely hard to come by.

So we showered Mandy and Baby William, and then we all met for Hibachi that night. I'll tell you, that might have been the absolute best day of G's life! He clapped his heart out when the Hibachi chef set the onions on fire (in fact, I think the chef gave us a few extra fires for G's benefit) and when he (the chef) started flicking food into people's mouths G laughed so hard his face got red. I wish I'd had the foresight to take a video (of course, I was busy getting food flung at my face...). I did get a pic of G mastering chop-sticks, but because he moves at the speed of light, it's all grainy, and I'm too lazy to go upstairs and get my phone and try to fix it up, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Anyway, a good weekend was had. Pinterest makes baby shower planning a cinch. And if you're looking for a great place to take your kid for supper, and you happen to be in Baltimore, I suggest Sakura. And a camera.

In Three's

(((Man alive! 3 posts in 3 days?!)

They say things happen in 3's.

I don't know if I can confirm or deny that, but what I do know is that it takes me repeating  myself at least 3 times before G even gives my request a thought - and by then I'm teetering on the edge of losing my cool (which happens way too quickly these). Between him and the dogs, I feel like all I ever do is repeat myself.

"Don't sit on the dog," "Don't hit the dog," "Don't throw" "Don't scream like someone is tearing you limb from limb just because you didn't get your way," "Move on, G," "Don't chew on that, it's a dog toy," "Don't move, you're in time-out," "Don't move, you're STILL in time-out!" and my personal favorite "Get your feet off the table while you eat!"

Then there's the dogs: "Dogs, get away from G while he eats", "Go outside!" "Move on, dogs!", "SAMMY! Come inside!!!", "Don't chew on that, it's a baby toy!", "Who pooped on the floor?!" (okay, this could go both ways...)

I've tried yelling, I've tried speaking rationally, I've tried whispering, all to no avail. Parenting failures happen in infinite multiples. Please, terrible twos, go easy on me.

Tammy Romesha is My New Hero

It's something all military spouses and parents who've lived with a deployment are aware of: Our Soldiers will face danger, and they'll probably lie to us about it. Maybe "lie" is a strong word since it's not malicious, so we'll say omit. Our Soldiers will face danger, and they'll omit it from any conversation about said deployment. I know so many wives who "omit" things from their conversations when their husbands are deployed, it stands to reason that husbands would "omit" things as well. They don't want us to think about it when they have to leave again. They don't want their nightmares to become ours.

My point is - Tammy Romesha can't stick her head in the sand and not think about the things her husband has dealt with. She is no longer afforded the luxury of having the scary parts of her husbands military service "omitted" in order to help her sleep better at night. She knows her husband looked death in the face, accepted it, and marched on in an effort to save his friends. She knows he heard the last words that SGT Joshua Hardt spoke, "They have an RPG pointed right at me,". She knows he had to spill blood. She knows he spilled his own blood. She knows what he had to give up in order to keep going, and by God's grace get back to her.

I don't know if he glossed over the story of the overrun of COP Keating to her, my suspicion is that he did initially, and I can't say I don't understand that decision. But now she knows and she's had to think about it.

She knows something else too, though: She knows what we in the mlitary community are so grateful for, yet so often take for granted: a second chance. When our Soldiers march into that hangar, or that gymnasium or onto that field after just arriving from overseas, our entire lives become a second chance at perfecting our relationship. We get a second chance when so many don't. I don't know Tammy Romesha, but she and her husband both seem great. And I for one, am incredibly grateful - not only for my own second chances - but for theirs.

"They Fought Out of Pure Love"

"There were few people I would follow to hell and back, and Romesha is one of them"                -PFC Chris Jones

Today, President Obama will (or did, depending on when I actually publish this baby) award former SSG Clint Romesha the Congressional Medal of Honor. Romesha is the 4th living recipient and is the second recipient I have posted about on this blog, (you can read about the other here) and man alive, do I feel honored to have even heard these men's names.

I remember the day in October 2009 when COP Keating was overrun. I remember thinking "My God, my husband was there not two years before" (he was in the unit that helped build it and had served with the COP's namesake, LT Ben Keating). I remember praying like crazy for those lost and how scared they must have been to fight for their lives during a TWELVE hour battle with insurgents sometimes as few as 10 feet away. I think at that time it the most deadly single incident in the history of the war, ousting an incident during Erik's deployment to the same area from the "top" spot. A threshold so many Americans were praying we didn't cross.

Eight soldiers were killed that day at COP Keating:

SSG Vernon Martin

SSG Justin Gallegos
SGT Joshua Hardt

SGT Joshua Kirk

SGT Michael Scusa

SPC Christopher Griffin

SPC Stephan Mace

PFC Kevin Thomson 

I first read about SSG Clint Romesha specifically while reading The Outpost by Jake Tapper. (Yes, I finally finished it, for those of you wondering). I remember thinking how brave he and the others were, 52 of them them standing up to 300 Taliban and so many living to tell about it - a big part of that due to the bravery of SSG Romesha, who himself with what I read to be literally a hole in his arm from an RPG, and I just think "There is just no possible way I could be that brave". How did they look death in the face, accept that they may not see their wives or kids or parents ever again, and then start storming buildings? I guess because they didn't have any choice, that storming those buildings was the only chance they would have to ever see their family again. And I guess a Soldier probably makes peace with their mortality far in advance of having an enemy inside the wire of their camp. All things I just don't think I could do.

"With complete disregard for his own safety, Romesha continually exposed himself to heavy enemy fire as he moved confidently about the battlefield engaging and destroying multiple enemy targets, including three Taliban fighters who had breached the combat outpost's perimeter," his award citation reads.

Romesha himself has said that the Battle for COP Keating was group effort. The Black Knights are all heroes. In that light, I want to take a minute and tell you that 27 of the Soldiers who fought for COP Keating that day received Purple Hearts. That's more than half. 18 received Bronze Stars and 9 received Silver Stars. (There were more awards too, but I can't find concrete sources at the moment)

These Soldiers fought for each other out of love, "pure love" as President Obama and the mom of PFC Stephan Mace have both said. They fought to keep each other alive with bullets and sometimes giving (literally) their own blood via buddy transfusions, and when one of them fell, they fought to keep the body safe so their families could welcome them home. If that isn't valor, patriotism and love, I don't know what is.

And so I thank God every single day for men like those who served at Keating, and the hundreds of thousands of other veterans that have served our great country. You folks make America proud. And you make me dang proud to be an American.

I really, really encourage you to read this through: http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/08/us/uncommon-valor It's a very interesting retelling of the events at COP Keating by Jake Tapper, who also became great friends with SSG Romesha while writing The Outpost.

And I would also like to point out to whomever is reading, that over the weekend Jake Tapper and his wife Jennifer, along with Walmart and an anonymous donor, put together a reunion for the Black Knights in Washington, DC. They were aided by American Airlines, Jet Blue, Southwest Airlines and Best Western. A big shout out goes to all those folks who made that reunion possible. I've seen pictures - with the Black Knights, John and Cindy McCain and Denis McDonough (the White House Chief of Staff) as well as Gold Star moms, wives and kiddos, and just the pictures of those folks together moved me. I know that even though the Army is small, the world is big, and sometimes these reunions don't happen all that often. I thanked Jake Tapper at The Outpost book party for bringing so many 3-71 Soldiers together, and I'm thanking him for this now. Thank you.

The Pregnancy Diet

Should you find yourself wanting to lose a few pounds, I have a new, revolutionary diet for you!
1. Stop eating bacon and sausage because of the Nitrates.
2. Stop drinking beer because of the booze. And the carbs.
3. Get a stomach ache after you eat anything that isn't a salad, French Onion soup, yogurt, a clementine or a veggie sub from Subway (no cold cuts, either!)
4. Be utterly and completely disgusted by the smell of cooking meat. Insist on feeding your family pasta, quinoa or Subway takeout (remember, you can only have a veggie sub) until someone else steps up to cook.
5. If you're feeling especially motivated, go ahead and pick up one of the super awesome 10 day colds going around. Get a hacking cough and become so nauseated that you can't even eat an entire cup of the aforementioned yogurt before having to go lay down on the couch.


Now, as with any diet, you need to make some lifestyle changes as well. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Wake up every hour to pee. Wait 20 minutes before going back to sleep. If you happen to have bought yourself a Tempurpedic mattress before taking on this diet, your husband won't be disturbed (which means no sympathy, ladies!).
2. Take 4 ridiculously huge vitamins before you go to bed, because at least this way you can sleep through the free tummy ache they so graciously provide you with.
3. Stop doing housework. You are living on the edge of vomit after all, your family will understand. And if they don't, you know what to do.
4. Quit going to the gym. The childcare hours are only until 11 after all. Oh, and did I mention you need to have a healthy fear that if you move much before that time, the yogurt and clementine you had for breakfast will reappear? Don't worry though, after a few weeks of tummy aches, this fear develops all on it's own.


Want to just simulate the Pregnancy Diet?
Get a mild case food poisoning. That lasts for at least 14 weeks.




And yes. Yes I am...

Musing

I'm not really sure which is worse:

Your kid busting in on you while you're trying to use the restroom.

-OR-

Your kid pulling the door all the way shut while you're mid-pee (and thanks to him, you can't just stop what you're doing and re-open the door) and then running off laughing, knowing you can't do anything about it.