I Can't Be the Only One Who Needed This

Now that I'm a mom I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I was parented growing up, what my parents did right, what I wish they'd have done differently, etc And if you consider the types of parents they came from (very different from how they parented), I think they must have spent a long time thinking about what their parents could have done differently as well, so I don't feel so bad doing my mental critiques every once in awhile.

Don't let my tone mislead you in the least - my parents have a lot more pluses in their column than minuses, but I'll tell you one thing they did *majorly* right - I had no idea (until adulthood, that is) that my parents were as clueless as everyone elses and were just flying by the seat of their pants. If they were vexed by something, it rarely showed. They are by no means experts, but at least I thought they knew what they were doing. Haha! That's a skill I've really got to hone before G gets big enough to remember my shortcomings.

Annnnyway, about the time I began this introspection, I came across the blog of this woman who writes, like me, mostly to remember, and yet she has a HUGE following. I'm sure it helps that she posts great pics of her ridiculously gorgeous family and all the fun they have, but I think she's so popular because she makes having 5 kids and being a close-knit family seem like an absolute piece of cake. Her angle is "deliberate mothering," and I think that I've decided it's going to be mine too. (You can stalk her too, BTW, at www.71toes.com). I have struggled for so long with having given up a career to raise kids, but ultimately I figure if you screw up your kids, what do you have? As such, I really need to accept where I am now and do the best dang job I can.

So after reading her blog for a couple of months, I discovered her parents are parenting experts that have written DOZENS of books on parenting - as well has parented nine kids themselves, all of which are college educated (many from the likes of Harvard, Wellesley and BYU) and incredibly close. Much of this, I think, has to do with their Mormon background and the focus that puts on the family, but if the Eyre's can parent NINE kids and have seemingly great relationships with all of them (and their grand kids), they've got to be doing something right. So I started reading some of the books - for FREE no less, because they put them out there for schmucks like me who want to absorb as much parenting awesomeness as possible. (www.eyresfreebooks.com)

I want nothing more than to have a house full of adult kids and their little's at Christmastime, and the Eyre's seem to have exactly that. I am knee deep in a book by Linda Eyre called "I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch," (which I had bought before I discovered 71Toes or the Eyre's in general, or I'd be reading it for free, Haha!) and I'm here to tell you - she's singing my swan song! You can tell I've loved a book by the dog-eared pages, the highlights and sometimes the tear stains, and this book has all the evidence that it's exactly what I needed.

The point of this blog is that I can't be the only trying to do just a little better than the last generation in the only way I can right now - changing the world is going to have to wait. My parents were awesome, and I want to be just as awesome, but maybe a little bit different. So anyway, I'm officially that crazy lady to reads mounds of parenting books, hoping some patience, insight and maybe a little more patience will leap off the page and seep in to my heart.

And now I have to go parent, because my kid is about to eat his Cheerios out of the dog food scoop.