Thursday, August 16, 2018

Favorite Quote

Have I told you this is my favorite quote? I adopted it early, early on in my marriage. This is THE piece of advice I give out to new Army spouses.

So, so often friends whose husbands did the same or a similar job as mine but for different bosses would get home HOURS earlier than my own husband, or not have to go on this trip or that field exercise or that deployment. Or that OTHER deployment. And then turn around and go again... Or maybe they got to come home early from the deployment. Or they didn't have to leave her in the hospital 12 hours after she pushed out her first baby and was still on Magnesium from her undiagnosed Pre-Eclampsia to fly to California for work that was absolutely unnecessary. (DO NOT GET ME STARTED) Or maybe they didn't have to cancel their ding dang wedding because of an extended deployment. Yeah, that's a good example. They probably got to get married on the date they planned to.


So, so often my own husband would get to come home earlier from this or that field exercise. Or just home for a hot meal and a shower before going out again - purely by nature of his position. My own husband made to the birth of every single one of our children. Though my husband has deployed several times - he has always come home.

Thank God.

That's what I tell wives when they complain about deployments or endless trips.

Someone begged for what you've got.

Someones husband never came home from that deployment.

Sure, it's hard when literally every single one of your friends has a partner IN HER HOME but you, but so far, he's always come home, and that needs to be enough.

You can NOT compare your journey as an Army spouse to someone else's. It's impossible to level the playing field. Someone always, always has had it worse than you. Someone always, always, is praying for what you've got. And frankly, someone always has it much easier, too.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Georgia On My Mind

We moved here in March of 2015 and expected to maybe be here for 3 years if we were lucky. We expected to be moving this past summer, but we are still here, for at least/hopefully another year. By Army standards, we are all but permanent residents by this point. In this season, at this point in Erik's career, this is almost completely unheard of.

Allow me put this in perspective - I have had 2 sets of neighbors to the right and 3 to the left and 3 across. My sweet friend Chelsea and her family have lived in THREE states in the time we've lived in just this one. We are so, so lucky.

G started his educational career here with Pre-K, and will at least get to round out the 2nd grade here. ((For an Army kid - this is FANTASTIC.)) Again, we know how lucky we've been.

I told you all of that, to tell you this:

I ran out of checks the other day. RAN OUT. I haven't RUN OUT of checks since I was in college and no one took debit cards. We move so often, we have never, ever run out before.

I kind of couldn't believe it.

Gosh, we live a weird life.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

No Roots

I started writing yesterdays blog in my head, so when I sat down to actually put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) I googled "quotes about roots" and everything was about permanency and storms causing deep roots and roots grounding you and it all just made me sad. I wanted something that tied the post about trees to my kids and I guess I just didn't think it through because roots ARE permanent and we aren't. I was hoping for quotes about metaphoric roots, or I don't even know what exactly, but suddenly I found myself teary eyed wondering if we're screwing up our kids because they'll never know where the hell they belong in the world. Oh metaphorically they'll know they belong where we are, but physically? Tangibly? Hawaii? Pennsylvania? Georgia? Oklahoma? Gah. For my little small town girl pea brain, it's almost too much. How could they NOT know the same 40 kids from kindergarten through senior year like I did? It seems so foreign to me.

No Roots, Alice Merton

I like standing still, boy that's just a wishful plan
Ask me where I come from, I'll say a different land
But I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night
I can't get the numbers, and play the guessing name
It's just the place that changes, the rest is still the same
But I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night
And a thousand times I've seen this road,
A thousand times

I've got no roots, but my home was never on the ground
I've got no roots, but my home was never on the ground
I've got no roots uh uh uh uh
I've got no roots uh uh uh uh

Friday, August 10, 2018

Once There Was A Tree, And She Loved A Little Boy

When I started taking back to school photos with this tree (when G was in Pre-K!), I didn't realize the tree would grow right along with the babies I was raising inside the house it shares a lot with. Just as Grant's age and maturity has crept upon me, this tree has been quietly growing over the years that we've lived on Sunflower street. Weathering wind, rain, a hurricane, a few tropical storms, a tornado, hot, hot summers and even snow - right along with our family.

From a small seed, a mighty trunk may grow. - Aeschylus

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Schrödinger's Donut

I wrote this last month but forgot to publish:

Yesterday morning I took my kids for donuts, because they asked me to.

I have to say no to so much all the time that during the summer, without school playing the monkey on our backs, I say yes to as much as I can. Stay up late watching a movie? Yes. Milkshakes for dinner? Yessir. Extra tablet time? Yep. A second Popsicle while they're outside running their hearts out? Yep. Buy ALL the books? YES! Donuts? Yep, go get in the car.

Here's what though.

This family DRIVES THROUGH. Piper was like 3 before she learned you could GO INSIDE EATING ESTABLISHMENTS. My kids is loud. My kids is noisy. My kids is too hard to keep control of while we wait. I am of the belief that people go out to eat to get away from children, I will not put my kids on them. So we drive through, unless it's lunch, then sometimes we go in. But real honestly, it has only been super recently that I would take all 3 in somewhere by myself. Two of them are just too much, and unfortunately, the third has to pay the price.


We're pulling into the line at our friendly neighborhood Dunkin' (#nootherchoicesintown) and there's a mom getting her kid out. Then out pops another kid. Then another. Then I see her strapping another kid on her back. AND THEN THEY WENT INSIDE. I wanted to holler out "Get it, girl!!!" like I do when I see my friends out running, because like running, that was about to be a FEAT, but I decided she might think I was a jerk or something, so I didn't.

We get a few car lengths up in the line and my kids start fussing about this or that, and I said if they didn't stop, we'd go home. Obviously an empty threat as we were locked in, but the quieted down for a minute and started singing along to the VBS CD. (Sidenote: is anyone else going to die before next summers VBS for a new CD? Where do I get another Jesus Kids KidzBop-esque CD? Why is this the ONLY MUSIC ON THE PLANET THAT EXISTS TO MY CHILDREN??!?!?!??!?!?!?!) I pull up and order "May I please have a half dozen assorted frosted donuts with sprinkles?"

And then it happens. Fighting over who gets what color frosting.

"MOM! I said I wanted a pink one! YOU DIDN'T ORDER A PINK ONE!"

"Piperrrr..... I'm going to eat the pink one....."

"MOM! Gwant got the pink donut last time and now he's going to get it this time and I want the pink donut!!!!"

"MOM! Piper got half the pink one last time, I swear! And I don't even want the pink, I want the chocolate!"

"Too bad, Gwant, I'm going to eat the chocolate."

"MOM! I just called the chocolate one and now Piper said she's going to eat it! I called it! I called the chocolate!"

MOM! Gwant said he'd take the pink so that's why I said I'd take the chocolate! I really just want pink!!!"


Y'all. It's like Schrodinger's Donut up in here. Until we open the box, do the donuts we want even exist? Are they there? Are they not? Are they pink? Are they chocolate? Are they both? Are they neither?

Does this exist? Do I? Do you? Is this chicken or fish?

I had to threaten children twice just to drive through. And that woman took her kids in. She even had more than me! God bless her.