And The Earth Stood Still: July 20, 2007, Part 1

When Erik and I got engaged in December of 2005 (December 22, actually), we decided we wanted to wait several months after he got back from his first deployment to get married, and we (eventually) set a date of October 13, 2007.

 

In June 2006, after he'd been gone for a few months and we had both experienced death that we didn't necessarily expect, we decided we didn't want to wait until he had been home for awhile, and moved the date to June-something-or-another, maybe the 9th, 2007.

 

A few months after that we found out that block leave was scheduled for July of 2007 and there was pretty much no way he'd be given leave to come to Oklahoma in June, so we moved it to April 28. And with that my mom and I began planning like crazy because we were already less than a year out and nothing was scheduled.

 

We met with the usual suspects: Florist, preacher, musicians, started looking for venues. Finally it was settled. Symphony Hall in Enid, America, for both the ceremony and the reception.

 

At the beginning of January, 2007, I sent out our Save the Date cards, as at least half of the guest list would be traveling from the Northeast for the wedding.

 

On January 22, I was sitting at my desk at work when an email from Erik popped up. It was entitled "Here It Goes." You might remember from the mid-2000's, those stupid survey's people used to send out about themselves. I had sent a particularly funny one (in my opinion anyway) to Erik and I thought this was his (uncharacteristic) response. I remember thinking he was up late, but I was happy to have heard from him anyway. I settled in and clicked the message. It read:

I really don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out and say it... We've been extended. We're not coming back until June now. I think the most obvious thing is that the wedding will have to be postponed. This info is about three hours old right now, so I don't have a lot of answers. Normally I'd call for something this important, but the phone line has about 150 people in it right now and it's only getting longer. I really don't know what to say right now, we're all still in shock. I've got to go now and talk to my soldiers, a lot of them aren't taking it well. I love you guys.

 

-Erik

 

 

I literally did not know what to do. I was working in my moms office at the time, but she was out of town. I went into the bathroom and called my best friend - sobbing of course. Then I called Erik's mom. Then I tried to pull myself together and go back to work. My mom called shortly thereafter to check in and she told me I should go home for the rest of the day. I thought that was pansy and told her I was fine. Then the person in charge since my mom was away came to my desk and told me my mom had told her to tell me to go home. So I left, stopped by my dads office for a hug, then dropped by a liquor store and went home. I spent the evening in my bedroom, crying, drinking wine straight from the bottle, penning a letter to everyone who had just received a Save the Date card - explaining what happened and why the wedding wasn't going to be rescheduled. I wasn't planning another damn thing until Erik was standing in front of me. My parents had lost enough money in all the other reschedulings.

 

He was nineteen damn days from coming home. NINETEEN. I had already bought my plane ticket to New York to welcome him home. We had already bought plane tickets to Las Vegas for my birthday and concert tickets to see Dave Matthews (twice) while we were there. We had already bought his plane ticket to Oklahoma for our wedding. I had already given notice to my job. He was nineteen stinking days from being out of serious, serious danger. What a rip-off. I went to sleep. It would be better tomorrow.

 

But of course, it wasn't that easy. Not only did I need to cancel all our wedding vendors and beg for our money back by telling our sob story (which didn't work all that well, by the way), I had to help our attendants and some guests get their money back from the airlines, I had to get *our* money back from airlines. We had a little bit of money left from the check my parents had written us for the wedding and we decided we'd reimburse anyone who couldn't get their money back from the airlines. Of course, no one would hear of that.

 

So, a few days later I mailed the letters explaining that the wedding was off. And I started getting cards back in return. Erik's dad wrote an email about how sorry he was, his grandmother wrote a card about how devastated she was for us, a cousin of my moms wrote a beautiful note about how grateful she was for Erik's service and my "sacrifice" (to this day it embarrasses me when people think I'm the one who sacrifices), the grandmother of a friend wrote and told me how she'd already "written" to the Enid tourism office and had really been looking forward to seeing the area, and how disappointed she was, and Erik's mom wrote a card, which I still have that simply said "Erik made the right choice. Love you, Pat" The love helped, but there Erik sat, in harms way for another winter and spring in hell. They were extended to help with the Spring offensive - the time when the Taliban came back over into Afghanistan after the thaw, renewed and ready to fight. People were going to die. People that should have been on planes home. I heard through the grapevine that some of those extended actually HAD been on planes home. My God, can you imagine? Here they are, thinking they've survived an especially bloody deployment, only to be turned around and sent back. I decided it was time to put on my big girl panties and stop being upset. I was safe. I was grateful I had decided to move home a few months prior and live with my family before getting married and moving away. I was happy I was home with my family.

 

But like I said, I had already given my notice at work that I'd be quitting in early April. They had already hired a replacement and just that week  I had begun training her. I had found Erik an apartment in Black River, NY earlier in the month, so after some discussion we decided that I'd go ahead and move up there as planned and wait for Erik to return. I honestly didn't know a soul there.