Do Unto Other Mothers

The Huffington Post recently featured an essay called A Beta Parent Manifesto (I know you've all already read it because HuffPost is such a hard hitting, can't miss news source...) and if you ask me (which you sort of did since you're reading this... right?) it's really just another excuse at mommy shaming. In it, the author attacks moms who choose to buy organic toys, moms who substitute more wholesome foods for their less wholesome counterparts, moms who read parenting books and enforce bedtime routines. The (ridiculously arbitrary) list on and on. Oh, and did I mention it begins with an attack on a mom for making her kid practice counting to five on the playground? Yeah. Because we all know that's a HUGE mom fail.

Now, as you might imagine if you've read my blog and known my absolute affinity for parenting books and other manifestations of (perhaps overly?) conscious parenting, I'm a little put off. I do not consider myself an "Alpha Mom" - I'd be kicked out of that club immediately considering that the most productive I've been today is getting dessert made and taking a shower. Which, by the way, is more than yesterday, given my teething baby and my post-vacation "jet" lag. No, I'm not an alpha mom. But I'm sure not a "Beta Mom" either; especially since they're apparently equally as judgmental in assuming that my children are the center of my universe, and like the Alpha Mom club, I'd be kicked out immediately because my children operate in a somewhat structured environment. I like to think I've found a happy medium.

I consider myself a deliberate (not a term I've coined) mom - a Delta mom, perhaps? I think about the chemicals (re: shampoo) and food I put on or in my children's bodies (I try to feed my kids organic food when I can, I nurse as long as I can before my supply turns to dust, and yes, *gasp* I make my own baby food). I think about the things that I allow to seep into their brains (IE: we limit screen time and I'm selective about the books and shows in our home), and they will ride in car seats until they can safely operate their own motor vehicles. I don't think this makes me a better mom than the next one because *second gasp* I don't give a damn what she does with her kids. As long as her kids are loved and well taken care of, what concern of it is mine if she pays for the $18 bottle of California Baby shampoo or the $3 bottle of Aveeno? As long as she's feeding her kids, why do I care if it's from a bottle, a boob or a paper plate? I choose to cloth diaper, but I couldn't care less if you don't. Why? Because it's really just none of my business. And it's none of your business that I pay $3 extra per pound of bacon for a Nitrate Free product. I'm done being made to feel guilty about my choices and I apologize if I've ever made you feel badly about yours. Are we all not doing the best we can?

There's a war on folks, I don't know if you heard. It's a war waged by moms, fought by moms and the casualties are, you guessed it, moms. It's so unnecessary I could scream. How about instead of worrying what other moms do with their kids, you take a few lessons on how to "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" and then teach your kids. The next generation of moms will be grateful.