I firmly believe that there is some kind of vortex at the entry way to every commissary on this Earth that turns even the best, most well behaved children into not so well-behaved children. This theory has been tested in several states and though I have found that the kids are often worse on or around pay day, they are affected by said vortex at any time, on any date, in any state.
This vortex is probably also the same one that makes otherwise normal parents buy their kids those freakin' heelie shoes so they can scoot around uncontrollably. Because that, like driving on the ice, is always a great idea.
Other vortexes I believe in:
*One at the entry to my backyard that sucks the life out of plants.
*One at the city limits of Washington DC that makes people forget things they once held important
*The one at my kitchen that the dogs seem to see and recognize as the Do Not Cross line
*The one that overtakes me when I log on to facebook and keeps me from logging off until I have successfully pissed away 3 hours.
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