A few months ago, G went through this phase of telling me we should go buy something or asking if he could buy something he wanted but we didn't have.
One night Erik and I were putting him to bed and he asked for another cup of milk. I told him we didn't have any milk and he started crying (as toddlers do) saying "Please buy some milk, Mommy," and "I'll buy it" (presumably from his piggy bank money). I sat on the floor while Erik rocked him thinking how unbelievably awful it must be to have your baby begging for something as simple as milk, and not being able to give it to them. I started to tear up a little bit just sitting there thinking about it.
I mentioned it to Erik after we got G in bed and we had both been having the same thought. What it must be like not to be able to provide for your little one. I think about folks in countries in which sex is used indiscriminately as a weapon, where children are kidnapped and forced into militias. It's easy to dismiss those thoughts, assuming those people don't have the regard for human life that we do, but how can that be true? How can you carry a baby inside you and be able to see the worst happen to it? I just can't imagine. I can't imagine not being able to keep my children safe - it's my biggest fear. The world can be so cruel.
I am so, so, so incredibly grateful that my kids have full tummies all the time, that they have shelter over their heads, a door that locks them in (a safe home) at night.
And someday I hope to be grateful for the bravery it takes to turn a kid out into the world and let it live it's own life. Because seriously, I have no idea how I'm ever going to get from here to there.
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