Christmas Traditions

At this point in my life, I hold tightly to two Christas traditions. Prepare to have your socks knocked off, people, these are deeeeeep.

1. Champagne Friday. My in-law's have a Champagne Friday every Friday. I'm too cheap for that (though I happily partake at their house), so we only do it every month or so. Ya know, when we thinking about it far enough in advance to put it on ice. BUT we always thinking about it the day after Thanksgiving! We have bubbly and decorate our tree. We have done this every year since we got married (though twice I've done it alone, thanks to deployments).

2. And this one dates back more than just 5 years: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I can't watch it if it's not the holiday season and during the holiday season I have to watch it as much as possible. You'd think I'd be sick of it, you'd think the lustre of quoting nearly every line would wear off, you'd think it would have been ruined for me when my dad told me to pause it a few years ago so he and my mom could tell me they were getting divorced (true story), but no. I still love it. However, there's a problem. I haven't been able to find my DVD copy since we moved here. I haven't looked for it before now, but now I want it and it's not here! The only logical reason is that the movers stole it. Both my mom and Erik deem this quite unlikely, but heck, I'd steal a copy if it were necessary! (Kidding... Kind of). But luckily I don't have to. Tonight (because I can't wait for it to be on TV tomorrow...) I shall venture to WalMart and buy another copy. It is NOT Christmas until I can see "the silent majesty of a winter's morn, the clean, cool chill of the holiday air, and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer."

You see what I did there? It's Christmas!

Giving Tuesday

After Thanksgiving Thursday comes Black Friday. After Black Friday is Cyber Monday, and after Cyber Monday is Giving Tuesday.

I LOVE Giving Tuesday! I only learned about it a few years ago, but I'm definitely in the "giving" spirit, especially since I feel like I've been "giving" the economy so much the past few days!

We try to give through-out the year to various causes that are close to our hearts, be they monetary or through service, but there is just something about the Christmas season that makes me want to give, give, give!!

I've been thinking a lot about the spirit of Christmas - which I LOVE! I love the build up, the hustle and bustle, the cold (which was hard to live without when we lived in Hawaii, I just couldn't get my mind around Christmas shopping in Bermuda shorts), and I adore thinking up gifts to give to people. I actually get super depressed on Christmas morning when the gifts are opened because I know it's all over. I guess I'm not the only one that feels this way, but man does it hit me hard! I think it'll get better when G is older and we can play all day with new toys, watch Christmas movies and partake in whatever other traditions we have formed as a family.

I digress... Anyway, every year since we were married, Erik and I have "adopted" some angels from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. I love walking around the store, trying to think of the perfect gifts - what they want and some of what they need. I think Erik secretly likes it too, even though he says he hates shopping. This year, we were going to adopt from the tree that the Student Government of St. Bonaventure had put up (because you know I have a soft spot for Student Government!), but would you believe that by the time E got there to "adopt" our kids all the angels were gone?! I was so thrilled that so many had taken time to give to others! This really is a great community!!!

So anyway, in the spirit of Giving Tuesday, I'd like to share with you some links to my favorite causes, all of which are near and dear to my heart in some way. I know there are people out there reading this, even if you don't comment, so please know folks, that if you can (and I know times are tough) any charity would love to have any donation - of even just a few dollars - these are just a few of our favorites. Thank you in advance for considering!

WWW.SFCMonti.COM leads you to the Memorial Scholarship Fund set up in memory of SFC Jared Monti, fallen 10th Mountain Soldier and Medal of Honor Awardee. You can read about Erik's connection to SFC Monti here. Though I never had the pleasure of knowing him, I never heard anyone say a single negative thing about him, even when he was alive, and that to me is a hell of a testimony.

WWW.AmericanWidowProject.ORG leads you to the site for the American Widow Project. I thank God every day that I've never needed their support, but I do have friends who have, and they have been given so much by Taryn and the ladies of the AWP - they've been given their lives and their happiness back. And after you losing your partner, those are the biggest battles.

WWW.SantasCause.COM - Santa's Cause is a service provided to pre-approved families (who have been donated by teachers, counselors, and other third parties) where kids write a letter to Santa and their wishes are made to come true. It was started in part by some family members of mine and serves the Oklahoma City area. They are nearing their 30th year and every year it gets bigger and bigger!

WWW.Cancer.ORG - I like to donate to the American Cancer Society instead of Susan G Komen because in the past few years I have felt that Komen misappropriates funds. This is just my opinion, and I don't want to mire down the post in links, but you can google if you so choose.

WWW.RedCross.ORG/Donation - The Red Cross does so much for so many, you probably don't realise the extent of their charity. They help those effected by disaster, they help the military, they help the ill, they help many.

So anyway, that's my schpeal. Happy Giving Tuesday!!

Thankful

I'd like to be organized enough to post something I'm thankful for each day, but unfortunately, I don't have those kind of organizational skills to be thankful for. Haha! So, here are just a few of the things I'm thankful for today.

1. My sweet little G. What a remakable light in my life. He's such an example of anger one minute and love the next, without the need to hold a grudge. I try desperately, every single day, to be a better mom than the day before. Most days I fail, but he doesn't hold it against me.
2. My husband. He works all day to support us then comes home and immediately engages with us, without missing a beat. I've said a hundred times before that he's a much better husband than I am a wife and I'm grateful for his patience, willingness to apologize and overall understanding.
3. That even though our families don't live super close, we see at least one grandparent nearly every month - this was the case even when we lived in Hawaii. They are such huge helpers, they're always engaged with G and it's obvious he really loves them.
4. I'm grateful for the Army and all the friends it has provided me with - near and far.
5. I'm grateful I get to stay home with Little G. It's not really what I inteded to do with my life, but I can't imagine it any other way (as he literally screams in my ear because I won't let him type.)
6. I'm incredibly grateful that we are able to provide G with everything he needs. I can't imagine what it must be like for parents who don't have that security.
7. On a lighter note, I'm grateful that I didn't hurt myself when I fell down the stairs this morning. I missed a stair, hurt my hand trying to grab (and missing) the handrail, sliding down another stair and then falling foward on my face. I'm sure it was quite the sight. Both dogs ran over to me and G screamed "Uh OH!" which I guess is his method of showing sympathy. Graceful, I am not.

Army Wives: Alaska

The OWN Network has started airing a show about 7 Army wives living at Ft. Richardson, Alaska while their husbands are deployed. It's actually remarkably realistic (for a reality show), but unfortunately for the OWN Network (and for real military wives everywhere), there just isn't a way to accurately portray what it's like to send someone you love to war, the feeling of terror that comes over you when you hear there has been a KIA, the feeling of relief when you know your husband is safe - and then the immediate guilt for feeling better when someone elses life has just fallen apart, or the wonder of a homecoming. I've been really irritated over the years when a friend or aquaintance has come to me and said "I watch Army Wives, I know exactly what you go through". Though I have always appreciated the attempt to relate, you just truly can't understand until you live it; this show, however is a close as someone on the outside looking in could get (at least judging by the first 2 episodes).

I watched the show in the family room and Erik was down here on the computer (and I'm glad, I think tuning in to this show will be good for him! Anyway,) and we both had a few moments of "Did she really just say/do that?!", because after all it is still a reality show, and sometimes people are cast just to be the drama - but to be honest the show is close enough to real life that I realized I desperately miss the sisterhood that comes from seeing each other through the ups and downs of this lifestyle.

I'm really glad these women are being true to the gamut of feelings a person goes through during a deployment- sadness, anger, lonliness, anger again - no feeling is unreasonable, and I'm glad these women are showing it - warts and all.

Sidenote: During the show, Erik and I were both wondering aloud why they chose Ft. Richardson to film in and suddenly I realized that I bet it's because it's ridiculously gorgeous. If America saw some of the crappy bases that the Army has to offer, recruiting would plummet.

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.


Baz Luhrmann



from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
music from the House of Iona, Something For Everybody