Month of the Military Child

Every month is the month of something, and if I'm honest, I think it's kind of overkill. BUT... This month is the month of the Military Child and of course, I can get behind that. Since I'm mostly writing this for my own "military" children, obviously.

I saw this online the other day and I've printed it for the notebooks I keep for them (note to self, it's time to start one for N, slacker!) and I wanted to share it too. It's so beautiful! I can't credit it with certainty, but I pulled it from the Chameleon Kids FB page. I hope in 20 years, this is exactly how my babies feel.

I hope my children will grow-up to know:

They lived a life like no other.

It was hard,

But there was adventure,

There was sacrifice,

But there was beauty.

For now, I want to help them focus on, 

how challenge can help them grow,

Not how it will beat them down.

Then one day, 

when someone asks them where they grew up,

they'll be able to say:

My home? It was everywhere.

I was a military kid. 

It wasn't always easy,

But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way

Guess Whose Back (back, back, back).... Back Again...

Oh God I miss the 90's.

Yes, I'm back!

I still feel like blogging is the ultimate form of self importance, but I'm a terrible record keeper (as we've discussed ad nauseum) AND I think this will be a better way for me to keep far away family up to date on the happenings around here. SO... Probably a lot less snark and intellectual thoughts than I was known for in the past (HA!) but a lot more pics of cute kids.

I have been trying to get back on here for about a month actually, but OMG I have all these kids. And a dog. And a husband. And probably some plant dying in the corner. Things are hectic. I just feel like we're in constant chaos. I don't even actually have a post planned here, but everyone is napping and I saw this as my chance. If I don't start, I never will.

Last week I ventured up to Watertown, NY to spend a few days with my BFF. I took only the baby, so it was pretty much like having a vacation. You know, because he doesn't talk or ask a million questions. He actually barely makes any noise at all unless he's mad and he really only gets mad if his feet are touching something while he's trying to eat. P was like that too. It's SO ANNOYING! He screams in fury just the way she did. I also didn't have to travel with ANY baby gear, because her kiddo is a toddler so all the baby stuff was available at her house. I took ONE (yes, one) suitcase.

We had a super great time and while I was gone Erik took the big kids hiking and to a toddler time at a national park about an hour away. While they were painting at Toddler Time I was IN A COFFEE SHOP, SURROUNDED BY GROWN-UPS, DISCUSSING A BOOK. (((I wrote that in regular font to start out and then I decided it was probably the biggest part of the post, so I went back and capitalized it. BECAUSE I WAS IN A COFFEE SHOP, SURROUNDED BY WOMEN (and babies, but they don't count) AND WE WERE DISCUSSING A BOOK WE HAD ALL READ.))) All of us. We made time to read the same book. Maybe you've heard of it. It's called a book club. I think it's what happens when you have lots of friends and not a million children, a husband, a dog and I don't know what else that keeps me from doing this sort of thing regularly. It. Was. Amazing. Whenever I think of that little jaunt up north, I definitely think I'm going to think of that morning at Crissy Beans in Watertown. Eating my coffee, nursing my baby, talking about a book and harkening back to my more fabulous days. My hair wasn't even in a ponytail! You guys, it was fantastic. I felt so carefree. But I sure did miss those babies I was getting picture texts of all morning.  I'd include the pics here, but my phone is upstairs and N is asleep and I am just not going in there until I have to.

Oh wait, I have to. Pipes just woke up.

So there we go. Re-entry to blogging, Volume 3, Issue 1, DONE! :)

(((HI PAT!!!)))

Daughters Will Love Like You Do

You may or may not know that I don't speak to my biological father and that we haven't been in the same room since 2006.

Until today.

I went to my hometown for my Grandmother's funeral. I knew he'd be there, but I don't know if he knew I would be. Judging from his reaction when I said I was sorry for his loss on my way up to see the casket, I'm not entirely sure he knew I was even still living on the same plant he's been living on.

He got old. He's smaller, has glasses and walks with a cane. When he walked in I stared at him trying to decide if that was really him. Gone is the man who could intimidate just by looking at you. Who always smelled like Halston Z-14 and had a blond, well manicured mustache. He's got a goatee situation that looks like Virgil Earp. He.Got.Old. And he's not even sixty. I began to wonder if he was ill.

But maybe in his eyes, I got old too. I don't think I've actually seen him since before I graduated from college. So I was probably about 21 the last time he laid his eyes on me. I've had two kids and experienced time marching across my face since then. It's possible that young girl he used to know is who he holds in his mind, instead of this older, wiser, mother and wife.

I don't know if he's given me much thought over the last several years. He was a private investigator for years - I kind of think that if he wanted to know me or see me, he would. I don't even know how much thought I've really given him over the years either, though. It ebbs and flows. But when I had children I really began to wonder how a person could have a child floating around in the universe that they know nothing about. I've felt sad, hurt, angry, and rejected by him for the better part of my life. And then at some point I began feeling indifferent.

Until today.

Today, the big man I so desperately wanted approval and love from for so long was a small, sad man with red eyes at a funeral. And I was the strong, tall woman with his grand child strapped to in the Ergo, and (right or wrong) all the power. Our brief conversation (if you can call it that) left me wanting more, but when I turned around he was gone.

I have a sudden, overwhelming fear that the next time I turn around, he'll be gone again - forever - and I won't have tried. I have decided, after nearly a decade of estrangement, that I'm going to try to get in touch with him. I don't want him as a father figure, I have one of those, I just want to know him. Maybe for the first time. So I'm going to give him the choice.

I'm going to give my uncle some time before I reach out to him (I haven't been touch with anyone from his side of the family until today and obviously today has been rough for all of them) and then I'm going to write my dad a letter. We'll never be living an hour apart again, so now is the time. And when we move in a few months, I never have to see him again unless I want to. If he doesn't want to see me, I really believe I'll be okay with that. And today is the first day I have really been able to say that.

And I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you about my Grandma P. She raised 5 boys on a farm. She was freaking tough. She had a filthy mouth and a tendency to hoard food (a Depression Era upbringing will do that). Her boys were serious Mama's Boys - my mom told me that for YEARS each one called home every day, but the family wasn't without it's faults. There was always someone who wasn't speaking to the rest of the group and that was painfully clear when two of her sons didn't sit with the family at the funeral. But when the song Bridge Over Troubled Water began to play, I remembered it was her favorite, and I could hear that I wasn't the only one whisper-singing along. I remembered that even though she'd been my sort-of nuts grandma, she had been a mama too, and suddenly I realized she probably would have had more to offer me as an adult than I had ever realized, and I'm sorry I missed it. How did she raise FIVE hell-raising boys?! Was Bridge Over Troubled Water a mantra for her as a parent? What was? 

Though I don't necessarily regret walking away from a family that at one point would have sooner spit on me than look at me, I do realize that my relationships with those people probably would have changed a lot over the last ten years and I think I might be a little sorry to have missed that. I guess we'll see if my dad feels the same way.

I'm Back!

But don't get too excited

So we're here, at my mom's place in Oklahoma. I am getting used to having cable again. I really missed the Food Network. (Seriously, why is that channel so soothing?!)

Erik is in Georgia.

Mom had her surgery and is doing well.

The 2.5 days long road trip went far better than anticipated and we were able to catch up with old friends on the way.

P went from being a crawler to toddling to full on walking. She's now to attempting to run to keep up with big brother. She's not a baby anymore.

G has started a new school, and though I don't think he gets quite the warm and fuzzies that he got at his old school (and how could he, nothing could ever be the same as being one of the first two kids to get the school off the ground) he talks about new friends and likes his teachers a lot.

One rainy day I ran in to my college BFF and her husband (also a close college friend) at Target. We hadn't been in the same place in YEARS. It was lovely.

Thanksgiving has come and gone. Erik came home for the weekend and of course, all was right with the world once again. We had a great meal and our "traditional" Elf breakfast (which I failed to photograph).

G paid his first visit to the dentist and did BEAUTIFULLY! He didn't complain once about a full cleaning and exam. The hygienists was thrilled, I was proud and G was given many prizes. The TV above the exam chair probably made the biggest difference.

Now Christmas is in full swing and I'm writing this by the glow of the Christmas tree.

That covers the last 2 months, right? Okay, great, let's get back in the swing of things!

Too Long

It really has been too long, hasn't it? My efforts to chronicle our every day life have been hampered by ... our every day life.

We're in full swing of last minute travels, last few days of school and last preparations before we hit the the moving prep hard and then hit the road.

I have lots of things to discuss like:

*Piper's 1 year stat card (that I haven't made yet) and her baptism.
*My first adventure with a kid sick enough to need medication (and the ensuing fit I threw at the pharmacy to get the damn thing filled) - which reminds me I need to write a complaint to RiteAid.
*One last road trip to New Hampshire to see the grandparents before we're more than a stones throw away, which included Erik's college reunion

And soon, G's last day of school. I'm so sad to take him away from there. But I can't get on that right now. I have a few ideas to make his last day special, and his precious teacher is on board.

For now, though, I have to fill my "free" time with prepping, planning, packing and something else that begins with p, I just can't think of anything else right now.

It'll be awhile, blog, but I'll be back. :)